How to help teens dream about a future?

[JudgeGil]

OK, this will be long, but worth the read. As your district judge I am also the juvenile judge. The juvenile justice system has jurisdiction of children from the age of 10 to 18, and has as it's primary purpose the rehabilitation of a child who has engaged in delinquent conduct. Sometimes the community safety issue requires more than simply the rehab effort but that is always the initial priority.

A common problem is with kids who are bored, lack direction, have no sense of belonging, and can't imagine a future beyond tomorrow and the next _____ (fill in blank with whatever floats their boat. After gnashing my teeth over this for years I challenged my juvenile probation department -- and now challenge the community, i.e YOU -- with the following:

The problem

The typical juvenile offender comes from a family that is undereducated, underemployed and unmotivated. The child’s environment, in the typical instance, does not inspire him to reach beyond his current circumstances and even if he becomes inspired from an outside stimulus, his self-esteem will not permit him to dream of a future, much less to work toward one.

The solution

Unknown, but what we do know is that my standard “figure out what you want to be, research it, and write me a paper on how to get there” is woefully insufficient.

The route to improvement

You. You know kids. You know their environment. You’ve seen some succeed and some fail.
Your objective, should you choose to accept this mission (which is NOT optional), is to wrack your brain and your mind on this problem and come up with ideas on how to empower your juveniles to dream of a future and to have sufficient self-esteem to do so.

The presentation

On __________ we will all meet and each of you is asked to make a presentation of your ideas. There are no limits, no boundaries, no criteria, and no idea is off limits. Don’t be concerned with budgets or personnel needs.
Your presentation can be in any format from a verbal discussion to a PowerPoint with a 3-piece band providing background music. Bring your Big Chief tablet and #2 pencil to make notes as the presentations unfold. We will brainstorm after all of the presentations.

We had that meeting yesterday and I heard ten great presentations from the juvenile probation officers (including one office staff who also had super insights). But now I want to seek the wisdom of the community as well. The Chief JPO, Marc Bittner has posted some queries on his Facebook page and I thought I would try to expand that idea here.

Some specific question to ponder, and to which I hope this forum topic is flooded with responses:
#1 -- who convinced you there was something better out there for you? and more importantly how did they do it?

#2 -- As a youngster growing up (say, age 13 and up), how did you come to think about your future?

#3 -- Who or what made you dream about what kind of life you would have?

#4 -- Another way of asking: who or what made you strive to accomplish "something?"

#5 -- Who is the one person or thing that encouraged you to be who you are today? And more importantly how did they do it?
While my inquiry is focused on the child who has engaged in delinquent conduct (typically drugs, unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, theft, assaults, runaways), the inquiry can apply to any youngster who lacks motivation to have a life goal toward which to work. I expect we'll come up with suggestions here that many of you can use.

C'mon now ... let me have it!

Judge Gil Jones
33rd District Court
Burnet, Blanco, Llano and San Saba Counties

[mdarling]

My brother was headed down the delinquent/go to jail path. After one particularly frustrating day, I can remember my dad telling him: "Son, I love you a lot. I don't care what path you take in life. But, if you are going to be a ditch digger, be the best **** ditch digger in the world?" There was a lot more to this little talk and I'm sure my dad did "care"; but, I think the point is well taken. I don't know if my brother remembers this talk; but he has turned out to be one of the best men I've ever known. He has a great attitude, a good job, a wonderful wife, and a beautiful home. He's so far from the delinquent he could have been, it's amazed all of us.

[lmam88]

JudgeGil,
I first want to start off by extending my families thanks to you for everything you do for the young people in our area! You truly care about the kids that come through your court and it certainly shows!
I am a parent of a kid that came through your court. Our first two kids never prepared us for the roads that our third child chose so we had to wing it and learn as we went (if you will). He did a nose dive after losing ALL his grandparents in a very short span of time, one right after the other. We would bury one and the next would be diagnosed with terminal illness. They were our support system, each and every one of them! His older brother also left for college at this time.
When he was charged and put on probation it was an eye opener because of the labels he was tagged with and we as parents were also tagged with. Not only did his self esteem nose dive, to be quite honest so did ours! One of the conditions of his probation was to have a job. That seems like a very small task to most but if a kid is on probation most employers don't want to have anything to do with them! If they are 17yrs. most often it stays on their records and they may have done an outstanding job fullfilling their probation conditions and done a complete 360 with their lives but it doesn't matter once an employer sees they have a record. They are deemed unhirable...most often times they cannot even find a place to rent when they want to stand on their own feet. Yes, this is discrimination but it cannot be proved so the guilty winds up getting away with it!
After he gave up because he was totally overwhelmed with the terms of his probation and trying to stay in school he gave up on his education and dropped out of high school. He had drug classes evey single night, meetings with his probation officer numerous times a week, working and trying to keep up in school...he decided to spend 3months in jail and finally be done with it! It was the worst Easter and Mothers Days I have ever had in all the years of being a parent.
The month after he got out he moved 4hrs away to be with his older brother who was attending college. The transformation was incredible! He worked full time, had a different circle of friends who inspired him to not give up just because he messed up. He learned even the ones that went on to college had messed up along the way but that they kept going and reaching for their goals and dreams.
Today our son is happy with his life and at peace with who he use to be (that was a biggie for him) and very proud of who he has become. I am in complete awe of him and am very proud to call him my son!
I feel the attitude of the community is a BIG factor with these kids. Instead of taking it upon themselves to play judge and jury by decideing they are no longer worthy of being treated as humans they need to be supportive by hiring these kids even though they are on probation. Kids mess up, some worse then others. Soceity giving up on them is NOT an option! But it is happening more and more...
I feel like the kids on probation would benefit from having mentors that have been in their shoes and were able to rise above it and turn their lives around. I also feel exposing them to what is available outside this area such as Trade Schools, Junior Colleges or even 4 yr. Colleges. Let them know there is a world outside Burnet County and it is mighty big one with alot to offer them no matter the shoes they may be wearing at this moment in their lives!
If they have had alot of loss in their lives I know there are probably a lot of families that cannot afford to get their kids grief counseling (I learned from a friend that it is not the same as regular counseling).
Last but not least and I know there will be individual opinions on this so I will brace myself! A kid can move out of their house at age 17yrs., be charged as an adult and can pretty much do what ever they want. The parents are still responsible for their medical and school attendance however (parents can be taken to court if they do not attend school). Am I the only one that sees something wrong with that picture? How is a parent suppose to know these things if they are not required to live in the same house???
Also I would like to ask you at what age can someone have their Juvie record sealed?
I hope some of what I have said has given some ideas. Thank you again for all that you do!

[Reapp]

The age of emancipation is 18, so they can only move out with parental consent. If they do not have parental consent they can (and are) reported as runaways. The catch is that we (law enforcement) can go and pick them up and bring them home but there is no recourse in the justice system.

[lmam88]

The age of emancipation is 18, so they can only move out with parental consent. If they do not have parental consent they can (and are) reported as runaways. The catch is that we (law enforcement) can go and pick them up and bring them home but there is no recourse in the justice system.

I wish we had this info. a few years ago, Reapp! We were told there wasn't anything we could do:mad:.
Thanks!

[Reapp]

I wish we had this info. a few years ago, Reapp! We were told there wasn't anything we could do:mad:.
Thanks!

Well, technically there really is nothing we can do other than return them home, there is no crime to run away at 17.

[lmam88]

Well, technically there really is nothing we can do other than return them home, there is no crime to run away at 17.

I umderstamd. It just makes it hard for parents to try and change the tide if they don't have any recourse. You know?

[lmam88]

The presentation

On __________ we will all meet and each of you is asked to make a presentation of your ideas. There are no limits, no boundaries, no criteria, and no idea is off limits. Don’t be concerned with budgets or personnel needs.
Your presentation can be in any format from a verbal discussion to a PowerPoint with a 3-piece band providing background music. Bring your Big Chief tablet and #2 pencil to make notes as the presentations unfold. We will brainstorm after all of the presentations.

We had that meeting yesterday and I heard ten great presentations from the juvenile probation officers (including one office staff who also had super insights). But now I want to seek the wisdom of the community as well. The Chief JPO, Marc Bittner has posted some queries on his Facebook page and I thought I would try to expand that idea here.

Some specific question to ponder, and to which I hope this forum topic is flooded with responses:
#1 -- who convinced you there was something better out there for you? and more importantly how did they do it?

My mom by moving me out of my hometown in South Texas. The town I grew up in was in total disarray due to racial issues. Pretty bad when the Texas Rangers have to be called in to restore order!

#2 -- As a youngster growing up (say, age 13 and up), how did you come to think about your future?

I was still in South Texas and I didn't think too much about my future down there.

#3 -- Who or what made you dream about what kind of life you would have?

My mom and my high school sweetheart from up here.

#4 -- Another way of asking: who or what made you strive to accomplish "something?"

My mom and my high school sweetheart from up here. They taught me that the sky is the limit.

#5 -- Who is the one person or thing that encouraged you to be who you are today? And more importantly how did they do it?

My mom by never giving up on me with all the medical issues I faced. She was the one family member that never resented my prescence (siblings resented the attention I was given) or made me feel like I was less of a person. She presented the medical issues as CHALLENGES and not handicaps. When I was ready to give up she would get me riled up and mad which brought my motivation back. ha,ha,ha.

[tonigking]

Hey Judge Gil,

As you may or may not know I am retired from the Juvenile Justice System and can appreciate your frustration.

Over the years we tried many, many things to reach these young people but the thing that seemed to work best, for me at least, dealt with Values.

Excercises in identifying all the things they (and their families) valued; generally sex, guns, drugs, gangs, gambling, cheating, etc., along with the usual outcomes of those values.

An introduction to positive values , that in most cases they were unfamiliar with, and the usual outcomes of same.

Frequent identification and exposure to positive values through peer groups, big brothers, meaningful community service and a myriad of other opportunities had a profoundly positive impact.

As you know the youth from "good families" with good values may get into trouble but will generally return to those values and become law abiding citizens..

With only the negative values they easily become repeat offenders.

Forgive my simplifying a complex problem but in the interest of brevity...

[JudgeGil]

Thanks to all who are responding. I'm reading all of the replies but don't want to jump back in until the thread has accumulated more responses.

Y'all keep it coming!

[kwesterman]

Judge Gil,

I also have to commend you on your commitment to our youth. The desire to help them save themselves must seem overwhelming in your position. You undoubtedly must see so many young adults with so much promise casually throwing their lives away. That has to be a hard thing to witness over and over again. To be in a position to maybe have an impact only to see it not make a difference many times also must be exceedingly difficult. I applaud your effort of reaching out for others thoughts and ideas.

You have offered an incredible challenge for our community to come up with any and all ideas to help in this dilemma. If one idea comes out of your effort and enables even just one of these kids to wake up and turn their lives around, I’m sure it will have been worth your effort.

I want to say, I have no training and/or background dealing with these kids or these types of situations or this challenge, save for my own near miss with juvenile delinquency... ha, ha. My thoughts are nothing more than a random musing on my part, in the act of wondering what might help. This being said, it would seem to me there has to be a wide variety of situations, environments and personalities that cause kids to wander from the straight and narrow. Some come from abusive and/or neglectful homes; some come from terrible hardship; some come from tragedy; some come from incredible privilege; some come from perfectly normal middle-class homes with very supportive families; some may just have a wild streak. The only common thread is likely heightened self-esteem issues albeit from a multitude of situations and conditions.

I would think to effectively deal with the individual at hand, one would have to have a focused awareness of their circumstances and an ability to peer into their soul. Dealing with a kid or young adult that is psychopathic [a personality disorder characterized by an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct, masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal] would require a totally different approach than a kid who just feels beat down and like the world is against them. One needs psychological treatment while it would seem a healthy dose of vision and the hope a little optimism could instill might make a difference for the other.

I’m not saying it is possible or even feasible, but if there were a way to order a psychological review, or some other method to objectively identify underlying issues and causes, as routine part of processing these kids through the system, it would seem one would be armed with valuable information and much better equipped to help them help themselves.

Again, I would think the vast majority of kids on the path to and through juvenile delinquency deal with severe self-esteem issues. Also as "tonigking" suggested, when kid’s value systems aren’t centered on character, honesty, integrity and the virtue of hard honest work, they have to be at great risk of not being able to get their lives on a better track. We all have self esteem issues and have to learn to value ourselves and our dreams in spite of what we think ourselves capable or worthy of, I’m convinced it is simply part of the human condition. Anything that can help these kids re-evaluate and recalibrate their value systems and self-esteem would seem to hold the promise of being helpful.

Karl Westerman

[kwesterman]

I have no idea who this person is or what their qualifications are, but I found this post interesting:

Theories of Juvenile Delinquency by Kristina Jones - http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/155156/theories_of_juvenile_delinquency.html?cat=17 (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/155156/theories_of_juvenile_delinquency.html?cat=17)

Karl

[KINGCHIP]

I find the situation amazing when I hear the things some of my employees hear from home. I'm not sure why they even get out of bed. Some of these kids come from homes with welfare, WIC, and medicare fraud happening in front of them, and know it happens. When there are no morals or values in those homes, it is not hard to understand why the cycle never changes.

We try to let them see the other things available to them out in the world through our lives, but it isn't enough. More handouts are not the answer, but to somehow instill that drive to succeed above and beyond their surroundings.

I feel for them but when they see these things at home, and that the fed offices support fraud, they will never learn right from wrong.

[tonigking]

Chip, I wish fraud of any kind was the only thing the kids pick up at home.
They learn morals and values alright, just not the kind that are socially acceptable to you and I.

Just ask any kid to name 5 things they value most. If they are honest they will tell you at best, my ipod, my xbox, my homies, my weed, etc.

They don't think of honesty, integrity, work, success, school, etc. as a value.
And morals...? lying, cheating, stealing, doping , etc., are the morals they have learned at home from their parent(s) or in the street from their peers.

You have an opportunity to turn some of these kids around. If they are working instead of stealing there is hope.

Everyone remember, God didn't make no junk. Many of these kids just need a real chance.

[lmam88]

"Everyone remember, God didn't make no junk. Many of these kids just need a real chance."

My mom use to tell our son that there was no going back and changing his past but he could always change his future. Those words have stuck with him through the years.

[tonigking]

We have some real mental giants on this forum and a few who know absolutely everything.

I don't understand the lack of input as Judge Gil requested.

The youth of today is America's future. God help us if solutions are not found to point these juveniles in the right direction.

Thanks Judge for your efforts!:)